When people hear the title Stay At Home Mom (dad/parent/grandparent, etc..I just say Mom because that’s what I answer to), some of them immediately think we have it super easy. I mean, after all, we don’t have a boss we answer to
just a 2 and 5-year-old and we don’t have to wake up super early for a job we just never sleep. What more could you ask for? I can understand why you might think that, if you have never been a stay at home mom, don’t have kids and/or have never spent significant time with children. However, for the rest of the people out there, my response is, “You’ve got to be kiddin’ me, right?”. In my 4 years of being a stay-at-home-mom, I have heard countless remarks and comments regarding my job. These are the ones that stand out to me the most.
what stay-at-home-moms are sick of hearing…
- You are so lucky, I would love to not work – While it was my families decision for me to quit my previous job to pursue my new career as a SAHM, some moms aren’t so lucky and don’t have a choice. Yes, I do consider myself lucky to be at home with my kids every day. I don’t have to miss any “first” and I don’t have to count on anyone else to raise my children. With that being said, I also don’t get a lunch break, paid time off, overtime pay, or a break (most days), etc. I never clock out. I am up early with the kids, up late with housework, and up in the night with mommy duties. If I am sick, tough nuggets, I still have to feed and handle my kids. My job is 24/7 and doesn’t come without financial sacrifices.
- But you will return to work when your kids are in school, right? – I mean is that in the unwritten rule book somewhere? I didn’t know I ever left “work”? If I find myself wanting to get a job when my kids are in school, then sure I will pursue that, but who knows? My youngest is just TWO, so I have some time before I have to cross that bridge. What is your five-year plan? What are you going to do when you get tired of your job? Oh, not so cool when the tables are turned, right? I realize not everyone means for it to come across that way, but some people DO. Rest assured, I won’t be scheduling Spa Days and Shopping Sprees when they go back to school. What I do intend to do is the laundry…at an earlier hour than midnight (fingers crossed).
- I could never stay home all day, I would be so bored – HAH! My job is the furthest thing from boring. Its one of the more exciting jobs out there due to the fact that every day is unpredictable. Some days I’m playing teacher all day, other days I’m playing nurse all day, and sometimes I just lay on the floor as a stand-in jungle gym. Regardless of the hat that I am wearing that day, it’s definitely not boring. Isolating and lonely at times? Yes. Boring? No way.
- You need to go back to work – Again, I didn’t realize I had left. This one is my personal favorite because 100% of the time it comes from the mouth of someone that is not paying my bills, not raising my children, not sleeping next to me and not contributing to any of the housework. So tell me again what I should do with my life? I can’t tell you how many people have said that in response to me starting a blog. Since when did having an outlet and/or a hobby as a SAHM become forbidden?
- Enjoy every minute – Really? Every minute? Even the one where Nolan is wiping poop on the bedroom door or Dane is vacuuming up the cord on the blinds? Oh, or the minute that you are waiting for the dryer to finish and the sound is lulling you to sleep because you are THAT tired. This is a sweet sentiment, but you don’t have to enjoy every moment. That’s crazy talk. This statement does remind me to enjoy the moment (the sweet ones at least). The ones where my kids are loving on me, snuggling with me, telling me how much they love me, playing together, being kind to others, using their manners, drawing me pictures, being kids, etc. It does remind me that these times will pass quickly and while that one minute that I cleaned loads of poop off the wall was horrid, the others are worth every dime I’m not making at a “real” job.
just because I stay home with my children, doesnt mean I have it easy
As a Mom (in general), our workloads are huge and often times they are made bigger by our “little helpers”. So what should you say when someone mentions being a SAHM/Dad? First, make no assumptions, then “Thats interesting, do you enjoy it?” seems pretty safe.
Has someone said something like this to you? Or are you guilty of saying these things to someone? (don’t worry, we’ve all been there at some point or another). Leave your experience in the comments below!
(PSA: This article is in no way meant to downplay the working mom/dad/parent. Every parent has very real and separate struggles, working or not. )