Universal Truths of Parenting Preschoolers

I will be the first to tell you that every child is different and we all parent differently. That being said, there are still plenty of moments and truths we experience and can all relate to.

Such as:

  • If your preschooler is a good eater and eats everything you put in front of them, it’s obviously due to your perfect parenting. If all they will eat is the Brachiosaurus dinosaur shaped Tyson chicken nuggets (or McDonald’s nuggets) and Macaroni and they are melodramatic with anything else you offer, it’s just bad luck. (Bonus Moment: Click HERE for super dramatic video footage of Dane at dinner when we asked him to eat Spaghetti, something he has eaten many times but just didn’t want that particular night. Click HERE to see Nolan pretending to throw up his food because he likes to mimic his brother, it’s hilarious!)
  • Strike a pose: Put one hand down your pants and one finger up your nose, now choose another finger from that same hand and stick it in your mouth. You’ve just mastered Preschool Yoga. (See my posts Mom Say What and BoyMom Experiences if you’re looking for more booger picking boy stories)
  • They only need to walk past through a room to mess it up. It’s a real superpower of preschoolers.
  • No amount of napkins will ever convince them not to wipe stuff on their pants and/or shirt.
  • Their mispronunciation of words is awesome and always well timed. You know, like when they tell someone at church about the big “fire f*ck” they spotted on the way in. But don’t you dare let them see you laugh because you will either embarrass them or encourage them.
  • There is nothing like watching your preschooler rock out in their car seat. Even if it is a less than desirable song for their age group. When Dane was 2-3 it was Queen’s We will rock you. Now its anything from Florida Georgia Line’s Cruise to Twenty One Pilot’s Heathens. Nolan’s favorite is anything his big brother is jamming.

But wait…there’s more

  • Preschoolers are tricky smart. If I ask Dane to pick up his pajamas and put them in the dirty clothes, he looks at me like he suddenly doesn’t know what pajamas are or where he left them and by the time he gets them in his hand he “forgot” where the clothes hamper is. Meanwhile, at school, he can spell November, clear the table, make pancakes and tell his teacher exactly what I order each day from Starbucks.
  • Lest we not forget the embarrassing things they say to people because kids are BRUTALLY HONEST. Dane is at that age where is going to be losing his baby teeth soon and he cannot wait. So naturally, he saw no problem in sparking up a convo with an adult that was missing a few teeth about how many teeth they have lost already. I was standing right there and I was mortified.
  • You will know where every bathroom is in every store, restaurant, bank and coffee shop in town. You may or may not carry TP in your purse. No judgement if you do. 
  • Last but certainly not least, your love for your child will never feel so fierce as when they are angelically sleeping in their own bed.

Don’t worry though, they won’t be doing these things forever. Someone once told me in regards to potty training, “Don’t worry if he doesn’t grasp it right now or right away. He won’t go to college in a diaper, he will pick it up when he is ready.” That’s what I try to keep in mind with all of these crazy things. He won’t go to college only eating macaroni bowls and Tyson dinosaur chicken nuggets. Surely he will have graduated to Ramen Noodles by then!

Now it’s your turn. Leave me a comment below with a crazy preschooler moment or truth we can all relate to!

19 thoughts on “Universal Truths of Parenting Preschoolers

  1. My daughter refuses to wear pants to preschool. Absolutely not, no way. So she wears long shirts or “dresses” and skirts with “leggings” underneath. Most days she’s really wearing jeans under her skirt, but don’t dare call them pants! They are “leggings”. It’s all about the wording with this girl.

  2. Oh my that tricky smart concept is spot on! My 4yr Old does the same thing to me and drives me bananas! Lol! It’s nice to hear it’s not just my kid. Great read!

  3. Oh my gosh! So funny! We should be friends. My blog has all kinds of funny things that kids do. Mommies anonymously post things and my favorite one recently was: My 4 year old loves to play with his penis during the most inappropriate times. The latest was in a dressing room of an Old Navy where he pressed his penis against the mirror and loudly announced: “My penis is kissing itself!”

    1. LOL!! OMG – That is hilarious! I will definitely check out your blog…..and say a prayer that my 5-year-old never says those words aloud in a public place! HAHAHA! Thanks for reading!!

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